When Do You Know It's Your Soul Mate? Imagine finding that special love in your life with a companion that totally gets you, that loves you unconditionally and that you feel completely protected and safe with. This is the ultimate that can happen in a relationship. To be indescribably drawn to a person with feelings of admiration, respect and attraction is what I describe as a soul mate. I am truly a romanticist and completely believe in soul mates. I believe there is a perfect man out there, somewhere, just preparing himself to finally find the woman of his dreams, to find his soul mate, to finally find me. No one is perfect, but I am hopeful that there is a perfect person for me. Down in my soul, I feel a certain affinity for a special person that I've known and loved for the past eighteen years. Through his marriage and through my marriage, I've only been truly in love and connected romantically with one person. However, what happens when your true love is unattainable or unavailable? Does that means he's not my true soul mate? I'm forced then to ponder, what's the difference between finding a soul mate, being in love and having raging hormones? You've heard a friend, a family member even yourself saying those three words, "I'm in love." You feel butterflies in your stomach and you go goo goo for that special someone. You spend time together getting to know each other. You date. One thing leads to the other and then you get serious. After time, you may hear that same person or find yourself saying something like, "I can't believe I ever fell for that person." Other times couples get married and after a period of time, they also say, "I can't believe I ever fell for that person and actually married him/her." People fall in love all the time. They start head-over-heels in relationships as well as get marriage. Then the inevitable happens. The fallacy for falling in love is that more times than other people fall out of love. With your life companion, you stay connected throughout. You're out at a party and across the room, your eyes gaze and catches on to the person whom you just can't stop grinning at. You have that quivering feeling throughout your body and a sensation that you want to meet this person right away. The physical attraction you have instantly gain for this person sends hormones raging through your body. You want this person. You must have this person. Their eyes met yours and you find yourself engaged in a conversation that entices your sexual juices. One thing leads to another and you find yourself sexually active with this person. The next day, weeks or months later, the physical attraction and desires wane. You no longer see this person in the same light as you did before. You may remain being friends or you both just go your separate ways. With your true love, the desire and attraction never dissipates. You've experienced being in love, then you fell out of love. You even had a relationship or two with someone you just had to get intimate with. But, they were not your soul mate. Does everyone have a life companion? How do you know when it's your soul mate? The quick answer is yes, everyone has that special someone and when they appear, you'll definitely know. I knew immediately that Rory was my special someone and 18 years later, our friendship, love, understanding and communication are in synch. In a round table discussion about soul mates, various questions were posed. One question that fueled the perky and diverse group of men and women was who (various people in our lives) can be a soul mate? The majority of the group knowledge of this subject was limited to only a romantic interest. However, David, in his early 30s, was very verbose and expressive when speaking about that strong connection between two people. He was one of the few that believes that you can only have one true partner but also believe that you can have a best friend, a spouse, a business partner or family member to fit the role of a soul mate. He also believes that you will immediately know that special person the moment you meet. David admitted that he is in a romantic relationship with who he knows is his true love. Then, can a soul mate be a best friend, a romantic interest or someone or something else? One definition of soul mate is "A soul mate is a person with whom one has a feeling of deep or natural affinity. This may involve similarity, love, romance, intimacy, sexuality, sexual activity, spirituality, or compatibility and trust." Obscure in definition, I've discovered that I have two soul mates, a best friend Tara and a romantic companion Rory. With each, I have a connection of unconditional love and understanding that have sustain throughout time, Tara for over 25 years and Rory for over 18 years. On the other hand, several people in the group expressed that the connotation of a soul mate is unbelievable and unattainable. Sadly, many people do not believe in the life long connection with that special person but believe that people are placed in our lives for a reason or a season as evidence revealed in our discussion. Garrison commented that he's had connections with people from time to time but those feelings faded over time. He and Marie agreed that relationships, of all types, undergo transformation and that people are innately judgmental, combative and that they change over time. Just like Garrison and Marie, many people will never, ever know and experience the serenity and comfort of their soul mate. From experience, I've concluded distinctive qualities to know when you've met your soul mate. The qualities are that they are dependable and reliable, respectful, you feel a connection with, there's unconditional love, they're nonjudgmental, you can be your true self with your soul mate, communication between you is unbelievable, there's an element of clairvoyance and finally serendipity. One of the best experiences in life is having a soul mate. With all the distractions that life brings, it's so much easier to experience obstacles when I have someone pleasant, someone that gets me and someone that's easy to speak to. Oh, I have two! Do you have a soul mate?