Why Do Great Relationships
Fail? And How To Keep/Get
Your Amazing Relationship!
By David K Olkkola | Submitted
On December 13, 2014
Basic Author | 6 Articles
Joined: May 21, 2014
Most think there are no easy
answers as to why relationships
fail. Before I begin revealing the
simple yet rarely known reason
why a relationship fails, let's
first define the word
relationship in this article.
Relationship is defined as: the
way in which two people
behave (primarily think) toward
each other.
We both know relationships
usually start with a person's
best foot forward; meaning they
are thinking the best of the
other person. Then, after a
while (after the honey moon
period, which I personally
believe should never end) the
couple falls back on their
previous exposure or training if
you will; meaning they begin
exhibiting their relationship
tapes (their beliefs they learned
from their parents). This
extremely common occurrence
is usually strong enough to end
60% of the marriages. And of
the marriages that do make it
more than 10 years, a very
large percentage of these
partners are staying "together"
in the relationship because it's
convenient. Consequently, only
a very small percentage of
marriage couples are actually in
love and thus enjoying this
easily reachable eternal honey
moon stage of a marriage.
Why do only a hand full of
people have great
relationships? The answer: they
understand that their thinking
and imagining have a profound
effect of what happens in their
relationships. In addition, they
have found a common ground
of continual growth and
curiosity and admiration of
each other. However, in being
able to do this, they must first
be totally in love with
themselves. If you think about
it, how can you love another, if
you are not in love with
yourself? It's impossible to love
another without loving your self
first. I know I have tried. In
addition, doesn't it make
sense? Think about this. Would
you ever go to a dentist who
has jacked up teeth and have
them work on your teeth? I
hope not!
Consequently, we can deduct
quite easily that the
relationships that have failed
are due to this one simple fact;
the people in the relationship
looked to the other for their
love and fulfillment. I think you
are getting the point. What can
we do about it? Whether you
are in a relationship presently
or not, you may begin now in
building your self-esteem and
self-love by imaging blissful
feeling producing images and
scenes with you mate or future
mate. And then watch what the
Universe will bring to you and
your life. It's a never ending
journey you will not want to get
off.
In other words, doing this
simple exercise with your mind
will eventually bring about
much more satisfaction in your
present or future relationship.
How does this work so well? It
works because no one has told
you that your thoughts hit their
target instantaneously. For
example, if you are thinking
that your husband is mean?
What is the likelihood that your
husband shows up angry
coming home from work? I have
placed many studies in my
book proving this reality of life
actually happens with every
thought you think, with
everything in life!
In any case, as you begin to
love yourself more and more
unconditionally, you can't help
but begin noticing the positive
attributes of your mate as well;
like you did when you first met
your mate. This daily personal
growth can't help but be a
powerful catalyst in bringing
more and more bliss and
satisfaction into your daily life
and your relationships,
especially the relationship with
yourself and your power. There
is an obviously thing that shows
up to let you know if you're on
track or not in making your
current relationship or future
one show up and blossom into
an amazing one. Do you know
what that is? It's your good
feelings!
Let's break this thing down a
little bit more so you we may all
understand the deeper
meaning of loving one's self.
What percentage of the time
does a person on average
notice what they are thinking
and feeling? The sad but true
answer is: it's almost zero! This
is crazy, but most people live in
this way! Never realizing they
are holding their dreams away
from themselves with their
infinitely powerful feeling
producing thoughts. I do not
have the space here to share
the facts and science about
your thinking and feelings;
however, I do share these facts
in my book that i mention
below. In any case, when they
do notice their thinking
negative feeling producing
thoughts, do they realize
they're actually causing stress
damage to their bodies? And
pushing away the possibility of
good future experiences? No,
they do not!
Most people never think one
second about what their
thinking does to their lives and
body and relationships. For
example, when you focus (think
in a negative feeling producing
way) on something or someone
that feels bad to you; this is an
extremely common example of
stress. What does stress do to
your body and brain? Does
stress (negative feeling
emotions) put you in a good
state of mind to make good
decisions? Or does it have a
tendency to make you say and
do things you'll regret later?
The answer is an obvious. YES!
In any case, I think you are
getting the idea (the truth) or at
least hearing for the first time.
Now, that's a good thing!
But there's something even
more important here. There is
an eternal part of you (some
say God, aka Source, aka The
Infinite, Higher Self, etc.) that
does not respond to your
actions per-say, but to your
personal thoughts and ideas
and judgments, in other words,
your current beliefs. Albert
Einstein, a brilliant scientist,
shared this timeless message
when he was physically alive,
"Imagination is more important
than knowledge." He also said,
"Imagination is everything, it is
life's preview of coming
attractions." What did he mean
by these profound statements?
He meant that everything you
worry about or bliss out about
YOU move yourself closer and
closer to you to eventually
experiencing.
And here's the kicker, your
emotions, (positive feelings and
negative feelings aka stress)
lets you know instantaneously
whether or not you're going to
like the experience when you
eventually find yourself right in
the middle of it. Nothing just
happens by chance. There is no
luck per-say. You have and
always will invite all of your
experiences into your life and
body. Consequently, when you
are habitually thankful and
appreciative and loving toward
self and others, you will always
be guided by inspired thought
and action into more and more
wonderful experiences in your
life. This is a beautiful thing we
all have internally.
And at the same time, if you are
habitually fighting or arguing or
blaming or complaining or
fearing or worrying or judging
yourself and others negatively,
you will always be led (guided)
to more and more unwanted
experiences. Remember, you
will always have your free will;
meaning your thoughts (beliefs)
are what has created your
situations and circumstances,
not your actions or spoken
words. All the negative
experiences you live through
are created and brought on by
you to wake yourself up and
eventually learn who you really
are. Whether you currently
believe this or not, you have
placed every obstacle and
every good experience in your
life, nobody else has done this
for you.
Begin now imagining wonderful
experiences with your mate or
future mate! You'll be glad that
you did!
Dr. David K. Olkkola is currently
headquartered in northern
California. He is the immediate
past MLF Personal Growth
Chairperson (2008-2012) of the
Commonwealth Club of
California located in San
Francisco, which is the oldest
and largest public affairs forum
in the United States (over 110
years old). He currently travels
all over the world to perform
keynote speeches, professional
and personal hands-on and
over the phone coaching,
corporate trainings and live
public seminars and live
celebratory resort events
reminding and helping people,
just like you, remember and or
realize who they really are; to
then begin allowing in what
most others would consider
miraculous (lucky) experiences
and accomplishments into their
personal and professional lives.
Please feel free to contact him
at his website http://
www.DrDavid.US for more
information and guidance and
inspiration and a copy of his
new book How To Achieve
Every Desire Effortlessly - The
Hidden Science of You & Life
Vol. 1.
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